Questions For My Boss

The other day, Molly had three very specific questions for my boss at work. She made me PROMISE to ask him these three questions... even suggested that I write the questions down so I wouldn't forget them.

So, here was the e-mail to my boss that day:

Molly wanted me to ask you three questions: 1) when is it "Take your Kid to Work Day?" 2) Why can't my mommy have naptime at work? And 3) Why don't you have a jammie day at work? Yes - these are the burning questions on a four year-old's mind...

Luckily, my boss is a dad with four daughters of his own. This was his reply:

Pls tell Molly for me: Thank you for your interesting questions. Take your kid day will happen again in 10 mos.We can't wait until you are 7 so you can join us.I always assume when your mommy's office door is closed that she might be napping.I think a jammie day is a great idea and I will propose this at the next group ldr mtg.Thanks again for your questions, Molly.

The Phrase of the Day

Four seems to be the age when kids try out all the great words and phrases that they learn at school. (Yeah, they hear these things at school... NOT at home...)



Before four, Molly would repeat things, but mostly just like a parrot. This is how we picked up, "See ya, wouldn't want to be ya" and "What's kickin', chicken?" But now, she's trying words in context... and (I think) looking for what reaction she'll get.



Molly has tried "stupid" at me only once. She's also tried "butt," "booty," and (now that I think about it) lots of other bathroom-related words. She also has whipped out the occasional, "Mommy, I will NOT do that," which I've promptly shut down.



So, I'm loading Molly in the van this morning and she starts to buckle herself in. (This is a new accomplishment, of which she's VERY proud.) Imagine my surprise when I hear, "Holy Jesus!" from the backseat.



(I think there were some words after that... but they were blacked out as my brain hit automatic TiVo rewind.)



"What did you say, Molly?" I asked, trying to look appropriately stern and not show that I was giggling under my breath.



"Um... I don't know."



"Where did you hear that, sweetie?"



And then Molly starts to cry - her reaction any time she thinks she's disappointed us.



Really - there are lots of words that can be directly attributed to me (especially ginormous) but I really have no clue where she picked up this little phrase...

Next, Her Imagination will Head to Canada for Cheap Meds

It was a BEAUTIFUL July 4th weekend... with rare weather for this time of year: cool with low humidity. So we tried to be outside as much as possible.

As Daddy and I cleaned out the garage, Molly played inside her new cardboard castle, made from the boxes of all the stuff we bought at Lowe's this weekend...

"Mommy! Mommy, I need to tell you something!"

"Yes, sweetie."

"My heel hurts... so I'm going to see my doctor. My heel doctor. Doctor Katie. She's in Mexico."

"Mexico? Really? Why is your heel doctor in Mexico."

"Because that's where Dr. Katie is."

So as Molly skips off down the sidewalk, I'm left wondering three things:

1) Why Dr. Katie? Her doctors are all men... she only knows a couple Katies at school...
2) Why is Dr. Katie practicing in Mexico?
3) Why would you visit ANY doctor in Mexico? Even a fake heel doctor?

At this point, Molly comes limping back. Dr. Katie informed her, she tells me, that she has heel-i-titis.

"Do you know what heel-i-titis is, Mommy?"

"No, Molly. It sounds serious."

"Heel-i-titis is when your heel hurts for no reason and they can't do anything about it."

Sounds about right for a diagnosis from a doctor in Mexico...

Last Days of the Dinosaurs: Molly's Version

Here's the story I got tonight, as Molly was taking a bath.

"Mommy, Brooke brought in a book from home about the dinosaurs and how they really DIED."

"Really, Molly? What happened?"

"Well, the pterodactyls... you know, the pterodactyls -- the ones that fly in the sky? Not the ground dinosaurs but the sky dinosaurs? Well the pterodactyls were flying and flying and flying and saw a HUGE fireball comet. And they warned all the other dinosaurs to get in a cave. But all the ground dinosaurs didn't listen. And Sue the T-Rex didn't listen... because they were all eating other dinosaurs. And so all of them died because they didn't go into the cave. Except for a few. But when they came out of the cave, there weren't any more dinosaurs to eat. The only thing to eat was dirt! So then they died. And then their bones went into the ground and became fossils and Sue Hendrickson and the other fossil hunters dug them all up."

So glad I asked. :)

(Editor's Note: I spelled pterodactyl correctly on the first try. Woo hoo!)

I Didn't Know a Helicopter Was Involved...

Getting ready for bed last night, Molly starts talking... and I'm trying to comb the rats out of her hair and sort of, kind of multitasking while I'm listening... and then I hear "helicopter."

So, I start actually listening:

"So after they go to the ballpark and sing the National Anthem, then the helicopter comes in."

"Molly, what does the helicopter do?"

"Takes them to heaven."

*Insert perplexed Mommy look* "I'm sorry, sweetie. What's that again?"

"The people go to the ballpark and sing the National Anthem. And then the helicopter takes them to heaven."

"Why are the people going to heaven?"

"Because they're dead."

"And why are they going to the ballpark?"

"To sing the National Anthem. But does a helicopter really come? I don't know how that part works -- getting the people to heaven."

I'm still not sure what prompted this...

Random Question of the Day

While s l o w l y getting dressed this morning, Molly looks up thoughtfully and asks:

"Mommy, do you think Santa gets tired when he's delivering all the presents?"

"Um, Santa? Why yes, sweetie - he probably does."

"Wow, how does he do it all in one night?"

I love you, too...

So, Daddy just comes down from tucking you in upstairs...

"You didn't hear what she was saying, did you?" he asks.

"No. What's up?"

"I told her she can be anything she wants to when she grows up. She can be a doctor... she can be President like Barack Obama. And she told me she already knows what she wants to be."

"What does she want to be?"

"A mommy. And I asked her if she wanted to have another job too. And her reply was, 'Yes - Mommy's job'."

I love you too, Peanut.

"When I Grow Up..."

Scene: Watching American Idol results show tonight.

Molly: "I want to be on American Idol when I grow up."

Mommy/Daddy (together): "That's great, sweetie." "Oh, that would be good."

Molly: "Yeah, I want to be one of the judges."

And scene.

Texts to Daddy

While we were on our trip to Chicago over the weekend, Aaron had to venture down to Texas on a business trip. While we were sitting on the train, I was sending a text to Uncle Paul, letting him know what time we were going to arrive.

“Mommy, I want to send Daddy a message.”

“Ok, Molly, want do you want to tell Daddy?”

“Oh, I’ll type it…”

You proceed to type: “Mollydadmom,” then hand the phone back to me and say, “I tell you what else I want to say and you can type it.”

So here’s what you dictated, exactly word-for-word:

Dear Daddy, I hope you come back from Texas soon. I’m having a good time in Chicago. I love you so much that I’m almost going to cry. Love, Molly.

During the return trip on Sunday, the texter strikes again. “Mommy, I want to send Daddy another text.” Again, as dictated to me: Dead Daddy, How are you feeling? We’re coming home on the train. I can see mommy’s work. Love you – bye! Love, Molly.

Yes, you absolutely melted Daddy's heart in 160 characters or less. And yes, the pony is on order.

Won't You Take Me To...

One of your favorite afternoon activities at school is dancing. And one of your new favorite albums, much to my chagrin, is the soundtrack to that Oscar-contender, "Alvin and the Chipmunks." (The one with the creepy guy from that Earl show on TV...)

(Side note: from watching the commercials for that stinker, I didn't think it was really appropriate for you to watch... what with one of the chipmunks singing bow-chicka-wow-wow and all. But Grandma, Papa, and your teacher thought differently. Anyway...)

So a couple nights ago, you bust into "Won't you take me to.... FUNKYTOWN????" (Funkytown is on the aforementioned crappy soundtrack.) Daddy and I cracked up. How could we not? Our almost 4 year-old is belting disco in our family room. Then Daddy found Funkytown on iTunes... and we spent the rest of the night dancing and singing. (Which was a blast.)

Fast-forward to today. In the van... on the way home from school.

Molly (in a very sad voice): Mommy?

Me: Yes, Molly...

Molly (in a very sad, pouty voice): What can't we go to Funkytown?

Me: Um, well... I think Funkytown is far away.

Molly: Is Funkytown not in Missouri?

Me: No, sweetie. Funkytown is most definitely not in Missouri.

And scene.

Word of the Day with Molly P. - Part 2

Some more words that Molly has decided to try out lately:

• Freaked out - While sitting at dinner, Molly recounts the thunderstorm that happened at school: "When the thunder crashed, I freaked out. But then I was ok." (She even had some crazy eyes and hand motions to go with it. That's my girl...)
• Saliva - While stalling for time before brushing teeth, "I have to swallow a little saliva."
• Collection - "Mommy, I have a collection of elephants."
• Dead - This is a weird one. All of a sudden, she's asking a lot about dead and death. One night the news was on and a woman was crying. Out of nowhere, Molly asked, "Mommy, why's she crying. Did someone die?" Oh rats - where's the mommy manual when you need it?

I Just Hope Tigger Isn’t Next...

Originally written: April 5, 2008

In Molly’s class at school, they are learning rhyming words. This on the tail of reading Fox in Socks about 20 times…So she’s getting really good at rhyming.

“Mommy – flower and glower. Do those rhyme?”

“Well, yes – they rhyme. But glower isn’t really a word.”

“Ok – flower and power and gower.”

“Gower?

So one afternoon we’re headed out to lunch, and Molly is trying out some new rhyming words as we’re getting into the van.

“Yuck and truck and duck and….”

Yep – you guessed it. She correctly rhymed yuck with that word.

Aaron looked at me. Under my breath I muttered, “Don’t react. Just let it go.”

Then, as if she’s genetically disposed to LOVING the sound of that word, she hit it again. “Yuck and f!@#$... and f%^&*… and f%^%&^!”

Ok, so maybe we need to say something.

Daddy quickly said, “Molly, you can say yuck but not that other word. It’s not a nice word that we use.” She said “ok,” and that was it.

Later that afternoon, we’re playing sidewalk chalk and Molly scrapes her finger. Yes, that finger. She comes to show me her boo-boo… and ends up giving me a full-blown bird.

Great – my baby is dropping f-bombs and giving me the bird.

I felt compelled to e-mail Molly’s teachers and explain that she really doesn’t know what that word or gesture mean… because wherever would she learn that? But just in case she starts rhyming words or showing off boo-boos in class, consider yourself warned.

Word of the Day with Molly P.

Originally written: April 24, 2008

Molly LOVES to talk. Definitely a case of nature and nurture working together to create a perfect storm. And she loves trying out new words on us. My favorite was the time she used “ginormous” in a sentence a couple months ago… and used it correctly! (We were playing tea party and she said, "Mommy, here is a ginormous piece of cake for you." That's my girl...)

Here are some of the latest:

• Beautiful – Sitting outside, “Mommy, what a beautiful evening.”
• Lovely – "Mommy, it's a lovely day today."
• Options – In response to me telling her we’re having chicken for dinner, “What are our other options?”
• Privacy – Now our nightly trips to the potty include her telling us, “Mommy/Daddy, I think I’d like a little privacy.” This is followed by her shutting the door and Daddy and I looking befuddled.